


earth

by sebootyslay



Series: the universe [3]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, Short Drabble, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 20:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17588261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebootyslay/pseuds/sebootyslay
Summary: Fault lines tremble underneath our glass houseBut I put it out of my mindLong enough to call it courageTo live without a lifelineI bend the definitionOf faith to exonerate my blind eye"'Til the sirens sound, I'm safe."





	earth

[Sleeping at Last - Earth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfWuE8FG1f0)

 

 _I dig 'til my shovel tells a secret,_  
Swear to the earth that I will keep it,  
Brush off the dirt  
And let my change of heart occur.

 _Sold soon after the appraisal,_  
The hammer struck the auction table  
Louder than anything I've ever heard

 _Fault lines tremble underneath my glass house._  
But I put it out of my mind  
Long enough to call it courage  
To live without a lifeline.  
I bend the definition  
Of faith to exonerate my blind eye  
"'Til the sirens sound, I'm safe."

 _Meanwhile, my family's taking shelter_  
The sparks send the fire down the wire,  
A countdown begins,  
Until the dynamite gives in

 _The echo, as wide as the equator,_  
Travels through a world of built up anger-  
Too late to pull itself together now

 _Fault lines tremble underneath our glass house_  
But I put it out of my mind  
Long enough to call it courage  
To live without a lifeline  
I bend the definition  
Of faith to exonerate my blind eye  
"'Til the sirens sound, I'm safe."

 _There was an earthquake_  
There was an avalanche of change  
We were so afraid,  
We cried ourselves a hurricane  
There were floods,  
Tidal waves over us,  
So we folded our hands and prayed

 _Like a domino,_  
These wildfires grow and grow  
Until a brand new world takes shape

 

 

“But what if-”

“Stevie, please.” Bucky pleaded. There were tears in his eyes, and that abruptly stopped Steve. One of Bucky’s hands clenched the enlistment letter, one held on tight to his white work shirt. “Stevie please,” Bucky whispered and fell to his knees.

“Buck!” Steve immediately went over, cradling Bucky’s head in his small hands. “Bucky, what’s wrong?” he asked, voice gone soft. Bucky buried his face in Steve’s stomach and cried. Steve didn’t prod further, only running his hands through Bucky’s soft brown locks.

“I don’t... don’t want you gettin’ hurt.” Bucky managed to say between cries. Steve’s heart broke into two listening to him speak. He felt hands gripping his waist tightly. “Please, Stevie. Please.” The brown haired male was shaking his head, and Steve felt his shirt getting gradually wetter.

“Buck, hey, Bucky.” Steve pulled his head back by his hair. His fingers pulled back slightly to rest on the day-old stubble of Bucky’s jaw, wiping the tears away. “Okay. Okay, I’ll stay here. I’ll stay, Buck.” He whispered. “Please don’t cry.”

“Oh god,” Bucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I just... Stevie, war’s gonna change me. I just want something to come home to. I wanna come home to you. I want something to live for.” Bucky looked up at his friend, and Steve felt himself drowning in the steel blue eyes of Bucky.

“Yeah, okay Buck. Come here.” Steve pulled Bucky up from his knees, and the man complied. Steve pulled him till they reached their bedroom. There was only bed, and that was all they could afford anyways. Steve could not survive the cold winters alone, so Bucky would always sleep next to him, keeping him warm.

At the bedroom, Steve slowly pushed Bucky to sit on the bed. Bucky silently followed. He pulled Bucky’s suspenders off, unclasping them from his slacks. He untucked the white work shirt Bucky wore at the docks, unbuttoning them one by one. His touch was soft and fleeting, and Steve noticed that Bucky’s posture was still tense. He smoothed his hands over Bucky’s naked shoulders when the shirt was off, and felt his friend finally relax. Steve knelt down and took off Bucky’s shoes and socks. He unbuttoned Bucky’s slacks and pulled them off him. Steve usually sleeps clothed, so he just slipped under the covers along with Bucky.

Without being prompted, Bucky pulled Steve close to his chest. He was still sniffling, and Steve ran his hands through his hair gently, blunt fingernails scraping the scalp soothingly. He never thought this was Bucky’s reaction to being enlisted. They always fought about this, Bucky always finding out him going to clinics to get approved and getting rejected every time.

“I don’t want to go.” Bucky said suddenly. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Buck,” Steve looked up to him. “It’s an honor, to fight for your country.”

“I know.” Bucky closed his eyes. “You’d love this opportunity, won’t you Stevie?”

“Buck?”

“You love the fight. I know you do, there’s a lion in this little body, Stevie.” Bucky looked down at Steve, and he could see the sadness in his friend’s eyes. “Thing is, Stevie, I never wanted the fight. I only fight for you, Steve.” Steve felt a thumb running down his jaw. “I only fight to keep you safe.”

“Fighting this will keep me safe.”

“I know.” Bucky sighed. “I know, punk.”

 

Before Bucky left the next week, he had asked to kiss Steve on his last night. That shocked Steve when Bucky asked, but Bucky pleaded him, saying to give him something to remember. Something to anchor him home. And with Bucky’s pleading eyes and hopeful voice, who was Steve to deny him? It was a long, sweet kiss. Bucky didn’t need more, he said. He just wanted to feel Steve agaisnt him.

The next day, Bucky saluted to him before joining the rest of the men on the ship.

 

“For some reason,” Zola peered onto the exhausted soldier as his men removed the electrocuting plates from his head. “This man is stronger than the rest.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, he might work. He might be the one.” Zola grinned at the Red Skull.

“Perfect.”

When they left him strapped to the table, Bucky was still dazed. His head hurts as hell, but he was also in a far away place. He was mumbling something he himself couldn’t remember saying, but all he remembered was blonde hair, small hands and a smile that could put a sun to shame.

 

No he can’t fall for it. He will not do what they say. He will not forget. Nothing is going to make him forget the blonde hair and sunshine smile. Nothing.

 

He was woken up roughly the next day. He was dragged over to the chair again, and he tried to control the shaking of his body as they strapped him in. He lost his left arm, but they replaced it with a metal one. It was heavier, but Bucky didn’t care. He wouldn’t do what they want him to do.

Not ever.

“Have you heard?” Zola asked as he casually strolled into the lab. Bucky didn’t reply. He didn’t want to. “Captain America’s dead.” That got his attention. His eyes snapped to the crazy scientist, and Zola laughed at his shock.

“No.”

“Don’t believe me? Read it yourself.” He threw something that hit him in his chest and fell down. It was the newspaper, and it dropped on the front page where in bold letters, it spelled out clearly what happened.

Captain America’s dead.

Stevie’s dead.

Bucky felt his heart stopped beating at that time.

And when they shocked him that day, Bucky let himself close his eyes and slip away. For the first time, he was silent as they shock him. He let them take him. He doesn’t hold on anymore.

Why does he? His sunshine smile is gone. There’s nothing worth living anymore.

That night, he cried silently to himself to sleep, the memories of blonde hair and a sunshine smile slowly fading in his head.

 _Fault lines tremble underneath our glass house_  
But I put it out of my mind  
Long enough to call it courage  
To live without a lifeline  
I bend the definition  
Of faith to exonerate my blind eye  
"'Til the sirens sound, I'm safe."


End file.
